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Hi.

So I’ve been working on migrating my blog to this new site for a while now, and the recent Wordpress drama was enough of a catalyst for me to finally get around to it. I’m not a developer, this isn’t the sleekest thing in the world, but I built it and I’m proud of it.

As part of this move, I’ve been converting all the old posts to Markdown. Relatively simple, but meant I had to have a dig through my old posts. By gods, a lot has changed since I last properly introduced myself to you. I wrote Another God Damn Blog in a state of crisis I was ignoring and would find myself in for months to come. One I didn’t realise just how much it was affecting me, and one I thought would just be how I lived my life. Look at I Want To Dance.

That’s the thing about living through trauma, you can’t see anything other than this firestorm you’re in the centre of. It burned the bushes and trees around my life, tearing down every defence I had. But, despite it all, I began replanting. After months of work the green started to return, the ash on my walls wore away, the animals returned to their homes. I was back to normal.

I like that term, firestorm, a nuclear metaphor encompasses it well - it wasn’t one person / one event / one situation, it was this all encompassing purge around my life. One that easily could’ve taken more casualties, but I came out on top.

There are people that have clearly turned into projections for me - this exaggerated and frankensteined woman who had the most impact on me kept her grip tight. But I broke free, finger by finger, inch by inch. I didn’t realise how much I’d done until the last piece of the puzzle slotted into place and I took back the last thing she held over me. It felt good.

I hold hope this will be the last firestorm for a while, because by gods it was mutually assured destruction.

Lots of love,
Hare xx